We’re over 8 months into this & I’ve learned A LOT – both about pregnancy & myself. Thought it could be beneficial to put it all out there (like I haven’t already been doing that -_-)
1. IT’S A COMMUNITY EFFORT.
You know the phrase “It Takes A Village”? It couldn’t be more true! I first started hearing of the concept a couple years ago when my friends started having kids of their own & expressing to me how helpful (& crucial) it is to have other Momma’s or go-to-people in their circle. Whether it be for a watchful eye, drop-off / pick-up, a second to rest, WHATEVER – it helped! Even though I’m not quite there yet, I’ve found SO much joy in offering my help to others BECAUSE I’ve seen how beneficial it is. Mommas helping & encouraging other Mommas is seriously a beautiful thing. #MOMMASUNITE
2. ASKING FOR HELP DOESN’T MAKE YOU WEAK.
As an individual who likes to do things on her own as they surface (or because I want them done a certain way & don’t want to have to explain how or why), this is one of the harder aspects for me to come to terms with. I’m normally the one that just does it without announcing. Especially working in the serving industry for a little bit, if I’m able to help myself, I just do it. So asking someone to hand me my water that’s a couple feet away from me felt lazy. But then mustering that energy is a bigger ordeal than I thought & it just makes me want to just go thirsty.. People tend to understand more the further along you are. Doesn’t stop it from feeling weird like you’re “taking advantage of people” but I remind myself – they literally asked for this. Whether it be for Matt & I to have kids or general help – YA’LL ASKED!
3. FOCUS ON THE KICKASS MOMENTS RATHER THAN THE FLAWS.
I’m so damn guilty of not only focusing on my weak moments but sulking in them. Given, a good cry & self-pity moment (not shared with others) is needed every now & then but relishing in them gets you literally nowhere. Remember all the wonders your body is doing!! YOU ARE CREATING LIFE FROM SCRATCH, DUDE! You’re still functioning in your normal everyday life while having your insides change, emotions coming out of NOWHERE & watching your own body grow larger over time. I don’t know about you but you’re kind of a superhero! Remember that every day & those flaws will quickly become superpowers!
You are not made of stone, ice, steel or anything else in your mind that’s impenetrable. The amount of hormones racing through your body flip everything upside down with no warning – it will come out of nowhere & hit you like a truck. EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS. Yeah, you’ll be a little more sensitive than usual but that’s expected. You’re probably even going to realize not having your favorite drink in the fridge or not being able to find your favorite pen is going to piss you off & you’ll also acknowledge how dumb it is – this is your new normal.
5. SOME THINGS NO ONE CAN EXPLAIN.
There are a number of symptoms that happen throughout pregnancy you will not understand until you experience it yourself. You can only Google so many things & try to get it but no. Some things just aren’t socially acceptable to talk about in public (if I’ve ever had a conversation with you, you know I miss those memos) & others are just indescribable! Yeah, contractions are an obvious given. However, the preggo waddle, the heartburn, the hormones, THE PELVIC PRESSURE – girl, just wait. You could be a unicorn & not experience any of it until the end (guilty) or get EXTRA lucky & get to enjoy the entire pregnancy! Take note of what you get to experience – you’ll laugh about it later.. Maybe much later..
6. SLOW DOWN!
So, I believe my body has yelled at me to slow the fcuk down multiple times throughout this pregnancy. I’ve ripped, been on pelvic rest multiple times, & most recently pulled my hip flexor. ALL. WHILE. PREGNANT. -_- Like I’ve admitted before, I like to do things myself but it’s gotten to the point where my body is literally stopping me. This is when you need to seriously listen & just stop. The world will not stop turning if you don’t finish the laundry tonight or wash those dishes. Take your time or ask for help.
7. PREGNANCY BRAIN IS NO JOKE.
Not that I had a bomb memory to brag about before getting pregnant but it’s GONE now! Matt likes to joke that I’m giving all my brains to J & I just go with it. It’s to the point where someone can tell me one thing & it’s literally in one ear & out the other within seconds – if Momma doesn’t write it down, it’s gone! When you’re memory starts to get a little hazy, don’t freakout. People will joke with you “Oh it’s baby brain / pregnancy brain!” BUT IT’S SO REAL! My advice? Carry around pen & paper or make a shortcut to Notes in your phone (my personal lifesaver).
8. ENJOY THE MOMENTS.
There are PLENTY of crappy moments (some I’ve touched base on) that you could tend to focus on & ruin your pregnancy experience. Maybe it’s experiencing a miscarriage has made me seriously cherish going full-term or just trying to be a positive person.. Regardless, the little bursts of light that gift of carrying your child should not be overlooked. Remember that first flutter? Seeing him / her on the ultrasound therefore proving there is life within you? Knowing you have a connection with this being no one in the entire world will ever be able to duplicate!? & don’t even get me started on buying their first nugget clothes (I still can’t believe socks are made that small). REMEMBER THESE MOMENTS.
9. EVERYBODY & EVERY BODY IS DIFFERENT.
Did you really read that? Everyone compares their pregnancy journey with those that are either currently going through it or have done it before. By asking what happen during theirs: food cravings, emotions, weight gain, anything like that – you’re comparing.. Keep in mind every pregnancy is different & every experience is different! Sure, you may share some similar parts but this is a ONCE IN A LIFETIME thing that happening! Even if you have more than 1 kid, everything was probably different. Learn from others but be prepared to write your own story.
Photography: Wind + Bird Photography