I’m a little late on the entries this week but for good reason! My Dad visited for a few days this past weekend so he had all of my undivided attention while here. However, I did have my follow-up appointment with my OB the morning Dad arrived so here’s that update with a belly picture!!
The entire purpose of the appointment was to get the green light for working out & sex again, which I got THANK GOD! No ultrasound, just checked Nugget’s heartbeat which was extremely loud & fast which was really good! Got even more justification of an active baby because he / she moved to the middle of my gut then back to my left side while the OB was still looking for the heartbeat. Since then, I’ve worked out twice (nothing heavy – 30 min of uphill walking on the treadmill 13 at 3.5 speed, very light squats & varying arm & legs workouts) & it seriously feels incredible. It’s my main form of therapy so I’ve been without it for 3 weeks, therefore feeling disgusting in more than one way. As far as sex, Matt & i are still young. We tested our ‘green light’ & WE ARE GOOOOD!
I also spoke to him about how I would begin the process of looking for a doula. For those who don’t fully understand what a doula is, here it is. I’ve recently decided to get a doula as well as having my OB for my own personal aspect. I think of it like this – the OB’s main concern is the health of the baby, where the doula’s main concern would be my emotional & personal standpoint. & seeing that I’m starting therapy (I’ll get into that later), my emotional self needs some tending to. Apparently hospitals don’t have a list of doulas that have either worked with them before or pretty much anywhere for me to begin my search. The best advice they could give me was to get referrals from other Momma’s I know of that have used Doulas in their experiences. So here’s a question / request for my readers: if you have personally used a doula (not know of one from a friend), could you send me their information & possibly shine some light on how you started the process? Like I’ve said before, I love to hear you guys’ stories & learn through you guys! In the process of deciding to go with a doula, I’ve also decided to attempt to get a gold star. That’s right, folks. Momma Lips is going to aim for a natural birth! I think in the past to me, natural births have been this big, terrifying event that involved a lot of ripping, blood, PAIN, screaming, etc.. When in reality, all that I just listed can easily describe birth with an epidural (obviously not as much pain). However, my body was made TO create another, to give birth to another. Unless I have a complication with the birth, that pain will not kill me & I will have to CONSTANTLY remind myself of that – channel a mandala “everything is temporary”. Om it out.
Didn’t mean to drop the “therapy” bomb up there but I did finally start. As soon as I told my OB that’s what I wanted to begin, he had me go speak to a Social Worker in the building across the hall. She’s also a registered Cognitive Therapist. Before I get into my first session & how I felt after, I want to explain why I chose to go through with it after fighting all forms of it for the longest time
Like I said before, I’m acknowledging my emotional self needs to be at it’s best in order to go through this. That means proper grieving over Momma & my miscarriage, dealing with my depression / anxiety properly & other aspects of my life the internet doesn’t need to know about right now 🙂 Postpartum sits in the back of my head like a memory I’m trying to forget as well as every kind of treatment there is for the hormonal imbalance & emotional needs. The very first session was a shock in itself &, of course, I poured everything out to this stranger. & she DUG. Dug all the way back to high school when my issues with my Dad first started. From there it covered my relationship with Paige & Momma, past relationships, depression, acting out / rebelling, college, anxiety, miscarriage & everything involved.. It was emotionally exhausting but honestly, it felt incredible to put EVERYTHING out on the table with no bias opinion about to come back to rebuddle my ‘complaining’. She’s not there to figure out my problems. She is there to help me understand why I think the way I do & how to help myself which is exactly what I need. Session 2, we discovered it’s best for me physically write down my ‘triggers’ every week that way I see them all at once rather than address them individually in my head. From there, prioritize which are legit worries & deserve the attention & energy. PROGRESS!
So there’s that update, ladies & gents. Sex & working out is a go, I’ve decided on looking into getting a doula, a natural birth is a part of my birth plan & I’ve started therapy. Next on my list is to really jump on getting this registry off the ground because to be honest, this is all happening just a little bit faster than I thought 🙂
OH! Also got a crib, changing table & dresser from Erica today. So generous & amazing.. It’s all in great condition & I can’t wait to set it all up! Oh man, it’s getting so real..
DATE: June 28, 2016
HOW FAR ALONG: 16 weeks, 3 days
CURRENT WEIGHT: 150.4 lbs
STRETCH MARKS: I feel like I may see some ! 😦 Using Palmer lotion!!
BELLY BUTTON RING: It’s budging!
RINGS: On. No swelling
MOVEMENT: Can find him / her in middle now too
FEELING: Less tired. Extremely emotional
CRAVINGS: Sweet food
AVERSIONS: Baked chicken
PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS: Belly is definitely growing & it’s pretty firm. Nasal issues
LOOKING FORWARD TO: Finally putting the nursery together!
SLEEP: THANK GOD FOR PREGNANCY PILLOWS!
EXERCISE: I can workout again! Uphill walking & very light lifting.
EATING: Eggos, pasta, steak, pizza
MATERNITY CLOTHES: Bought my very first maternity jeans from Target. Godsend.